Category Archives: Life Maintenance

May 01

1 Question for Friday

What could you do this weekend that would help you have a better week starting on Monday? I always have a hard time figuring out if being super-productive during the weekend will make me feel less stressed or whether getting lots of exercise, being outside in the garden and spending time with friends will fortify […]

April 30

Pushing the Nut Along

That thing that’s been bugging you for months. Yeah, that thing. I read once that the stress that causes heart attacks is not the loved one dying, getting divorced stuff but rather the endless list of things that hang over us. So that thing that’s bugging you: what if you didn’t have to figure out […]

April 26

To Whom It May Concern

[I ran across this joke with no attribution for the writing] Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: One! ONLY ONE! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb […]

April 25

Been There

Waiting for my drink at the Starbucks in Vacaville, California I overheard the following conversation. Woman to a man: “So…howya been?” Have you read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell? It’s about how our brains think intuitively and how we’re usually right when we have a strong sudden reaction to something. So when I heard this question, […]

April 22

Show Up, Kick Ass

I took Jeanine’s spin class on Monday. I’ve known Jeanine for about 8 years. I first met her in kickboxing and weights classes we take at our gym. In the locker room back then I overheard her say that she wanted to learn how to be a fitness instructor but lacked experience. A few days […]

April 21

Do you smell gas?

Bill and I returned home last night to the smell of gas in our house. Not wanting to take any chances, we opened the windows, put the kittens in a carrier and went outside with Sophie to wait for the fire department to come check things out. We were standing in front of our house […]

April 19


I had a really unpleasant interaction with someone yesterday. It involved someone lying and wrongfully accusing me of something I did not do. Fortunately my husband Bill was with me and was able to defend me but it stuck to me all day, invading otherwise productive thoughts. “Why would he do that? Why didn’t he […]

April 15

One Small Change

What is the one thing you could do differently today? Is it a different routine? A different frame of mind? A different approach? You can change something today. What will it be?

April 13

5 Questions for Monday

1. What will you learn this week? 2. What will you surrender this week? 3. What will you embrace this week? 4. Who will you lift up this week? 5. Where will you find a bit more happiness this week?

April 09

Witnessing the Titanic

I have long struggled with what to do when I see someone I care about making a really bad decision. In one case it was a friend marrying someone who was abusive. In another case it was someone afraid to pursue a dream and never allowed herself to reach her potential. Sometimes it’s someone with […]

April 06

5 Steps to Unhappiness

I see lots of articles online about how to be happy. But I think the article that really needs to be written is about the steps to UNhappiness. Here are mine. Feel free to add your own in the comment section. 1. Assume that more will make you happier If you think that more money, […]

March 28

The Decision Tree

Is it something you’ve always wanted to do and you can afford to do it? > Do it. Is it something that will hurt someone in the short term but will be better for them in the long run? > Do it. Is it something that will just plain hurt someone? > Don’t do it. […]

March 27

Redefining Leadership

When I was a child the word “leadership” was used to describe student body presidents, Eagle Scouts and CEOs. I used to think that leadership was defined by how many people one managed or directed in a workplace or community group. I’ve since radically expanded my definition of leadership to include supporting a friend in […]

March 25

The Friendship Maze

I read a lot of magazine articles on a broad range of topics. Recently I stumbled upon an article on friendships in Psychology Today. Written by a Harvard professor emeritus, the article talks about the role of friendships in culture over history. As a child friendships seemed so simple. I remember driving into our new […]

March 21

Regaining My Footing

In a work setting recently someone said something really insulting to me in front of a group of people. This doesn’t happen very often, fortunately, but because it was work-related and I was trying to harness all of my patience and judgement, I felt pressured to react calmly, professionally and in a manner that would […]

March 20

The Core of Self-Care

It’s been a tough, tough week. Lots of friends and loved ones in various crises and work piling up faster than we can handle it sometimes. So a friend asked me what I was doing to take care of myself amid so many sources of stress. When people tell me to do something for myself […]

March 16

Dead Wood

I’m waiting for the water in the soil from the melted snow to percolate down into the water table so the weight of walking on it won’t compress the soil, which is bad for roots trying to grow. Once the soil has dried out a bit I will start cutting back the dead wood in […]

March 12

The wardrobe I really need

Tis the season for catalogs of floral pastel dresses and bone-colored pumps. I worked for many years in an office and during eight of those years, as an investment banker, I wore corporate suits and starched dress shirts with dress shoes. I needed to look like you’d trust me with a few million dollars. I […]

March 11

Giving Your Amygdala a Timeout

Disclaimer: I am not a neuropsychologist (but if you’re a regular reader of this blog you’ll remember that I had an epic bad date with one several decades ago). So I’m going to try to share with you something I learned at a lecture last night about neuroscience but bear in mind this isn’t my […]

February 25

Joy on the To Do List

In a desperate attempt to reclaim some balance in our lives Bill and I frequently have a discussion that involves phrases such as: “Nothing else!” “No way. I can’t do it!” “I’m overwhelmed.” “We can’t do that. We are over committed.” On a daily basis I have to say no to a LOT of things […]