A lovely, single friend of ours finalized the adoption of a little boy last week. Another young couple we know filed their application to adopt today. At a party on Saturday, I exchanged adoption stories with a stranger who heard me mention that we had adopted our daughter. Like we, they will have a great experience parenting and once that baby is in their arms, they will never second-guess the decision to adopt. Over the past 20 years, since we learned that there was no possibility of a pregnancy for us, we have counseled and supported more than 15 families in their decision to adopt. All have adopted successfully and are happy with their decisions.
Adoption is not for the faint of heart. The process is long and, frankly, humiliating. I understand the thoroughness of 20 letters of recommendation from people who have known you longer than 6 years, the fingerprinting and house inspection but do you have a padlock on the area where you have a couple of bottles of wine? However, what is especially wonderful about the adoption community is that only the people who REALLY want the experience of parenting endure the arduous process.
If you know someone who yearns for the experience of parenting but for whatever reason is unable to have a pregnancy, please encourage them to adopt. Feel free to share my name with anyone who wants to have a candid conversation about the process. At our daughter’s christening, a few months after her adoption, I remember saying to a friend, “If you told me that I could have a pregnancy right now but I’d have to give her back, the answer would be ‘No way!'” Love is love.