February
23
Regrets, I’ve had a Few
I found myself in a situation yesterday trying to console a teenager who had made a very big mistake. “It’s over. My life is over!” she sobbed. I told her that life is not about avoiding mistakes but rather facing them with honesty and sincerity. “Learn from this. Don’t try to blame anyone. Take full responsibility. Show that you’ve learned and vow never to make that mistake again.” I remember regretting that as a new mother I overreacted to something I saw a babysitter do. Later I realized I had overreacted and ran into the babysitter in Target a few years later. “Remember that time…I’m so sorry. I was anxious about doing things right with too little support. I was overwhelmed. I’m so sorry.” The babysitter had totally forgotten about it but was stunned that I admitted my bad behavior. The best thing about apologies is they are usually met with forgiveness. And there’s no expiration date on them.
yes. it's my real name. 
One of the gifts left from years of managing teams of people in my former work life was learning to: 1) admit when I had made mistake or had said something that was not kind 2) apologize for it with out the ‘but’…… that often comes after the apology to justify my mistake, bad choice of words, misjudgment, bad behavior, etc…… At first it is a scary thing to admit and apologize but just like you I found that most people graciously accept the apology.
In those years I also learned the value of expressing openly and calmly to others when something was bothering me or upset me. I often had to wait a bit to express it but when it was out in the open I then would move on, it’s done, it’s over. Doing that kept a lot of negative energy from building unnecessarily. Sometimes the other party apologized, sometimes they did not. I like to think by moving on graciously it had an effect that lasted. While an apology would have been nice from the other party, it was not necessary to maintain the relationship.
Thank you for a good post and for the thoughts you are willing to share on this blog.
LikeLike
Thanks Ruthann. I find apologizing a relief. It just lets the air out of any feeling of tension. The sooner I do it the better I feel.
LikeLike