February
15
The Long Friendship
I have mixed feelings about friendship. Sometimes it seems as though they are intended for a season — the friendship that arises from having kids in the same school or living in the same neighborhood but then dies when that situation changes. But then there are those friendships that endure decades and overcome distance and life changes. And what about best friends? The older I get the fewer people I know who have a best friend that they see on an almost daily basis. My closest friend has a demanding career and lives half a country away. Unfortunately I don’t get to see her much. But she’s still the person I’d trust to make life or death decisions for me. I long for the days of close friends who lived down the street. There’s a girl sleeping in our daughter’s room this morning who spent the night and hangs out at our house a lot. They’ve been great friends for four years. They head to different schools next year but I’m wishing them the long, long, long, kids-play-together-in-20-years friendship. Meanwhile I’m about to put in the mail some licorice and nice hand cream I found for my friend as an nice out-of-the-blue treat that lets her know I value the 24 years of friendship we’ve had, despite the miles.
yes. it's my real name. 
Friendships can be rekindled after years not seeing each other. I have so many of those today. We get busy with work/careers and families and don’t always have time to stay in touch. Things change in our lives, but many of those friendships/family relationships don’t die, they just take a long nap.
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I’ve found it can be really complicated though. I worked really hard for decades at keeping one friendship alive only to be told that made my friend, who I think is an immensely talented and wonderful person, felt like a failure every time she saw me it brought out her insecurities. No matter how much I cheered her on, any little success I had just made her feel worse. I’m the other way around. I love to be around people who are achieving more than I. I love to learn from what worked for others and how they found their way. It inspires me to keep dreaming but clearly not everyone feels that way. Comparison is the road to unhappiness for some.
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My daughter, who is 21, had this wonderful childhood friend, who moved away. Years later, while they were attending different universities in San Diego, their paths crossed again at a party. They have been besties ever since!
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In 2012 I reconnected with 5 of my friends from grammar school. They planned and pulled off a 50 th reunion. Now we all chat several times a week for a few minutes in the evening. Half of us made a trip to Ireland together last Spring and visits back and forth for living or driving nearby. Like you said…seasons of life .
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