January
20
Caring Behaviors
I recently learned about an exercise called “Caring Behaviors.” I’m told that it’s usually done with couples but I thought it would be interesting to do it as a family. So our family sat down each with a clipboard and a piece of paper and made of list of things other family members do that make that person feel loved. The idea is that doing this exercise would help us know how to support each other in daily life. It led to a fascinating discussion and revelations I didn’t expect such as it feels more loving to our 13 year old when we read to her than when we attend her soccer games. At the top of my list was “When you pay attention and are interested when I’m talking” but I also added, “Wish me luck before a business trip or big lecture because I’m sometimes nervous.” It was such a great exercise that I think we’ll repeat it in a few years. Mostly, because families often dwell on what someone else does that drives them crazy, this was a nice way to reinforce positive behavior.
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Your intentional parenting is wonderful, Weeks. With our three children we had family meetings and sometimes those were more business-like but we also talked about good things that had happened and nice things each of them did for the other. I have recently had some old Super 8 movies digitized after decades of not seeing them (no working projector) and the glimpses of the hugs and smiles between our oldest two just warms my heart. I wish we had thought to do the exercise you did because it sounds wonderful. (And I, too, like to be listened to when I talk.) 🙂
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Passing this idea along to my grown kids with families. Such a small thing but sounds very powerful.
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